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Fifty Shades of Grey: How to Have Your Own Kinky Fun

  • 2 min read

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, you’ve likely heard at least a little about the “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon. The scintillating story of a sexy, Dominant businessman and a submissive young woman has captured minds and libidos across the country, tantalizing couples into trying bold new moves in and out of the bedroom.

If you or your partner has ever had an interest in living the BDSM lifestyle or incorporating it as an element of foreplay behind closed doors, there’s never been a better time to explore it. The popularity of both the book and the movie behind the story has opened up new doors and made fetish-friendly toys, clothing and media an intriguing possibility. If you’ve been eager to spice things up but aren’t sure where to start finding your own “shades of grey,” here are a few hot ideas:

Sensory Deprivation

A silky blindfold, mask or even a tie can be used to keep your partner in the dark as you make their body your playground. Gags also come in a variety of shapes and sizes – if a ball gag style isn’t appealing, flat belt-styles rest against the lips to inhibit speech. If you’re taking away sight, sound, or speech during a play session, be sure to work out a clear “I want to stop right now” signal with your partner for safety’s sake, and check in with them throughout your play.

Push Their Limits

Sometimes thinking outside of your usual sexual box is all it takes to elevate your satisfaction to the next level.  Backdoor play is fun for him AND her, so don’t let the genders of the story define your roles! Trying a butt plug or anal beads may just reveal a new favorite toy, and with plenty of lube and patience, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to become addicted to these taboo sensations.

A Few Sexy Love Taps

As you experiment with new toys like paddles, crops or floggers, be sure to keep your “thwaps” to fleshy areas like the butt cheeks or breasts. Start slow and soft and work your way up to an intensity that both you and your partner enjoy, this helps the body get adjusted and prevents sudden, startling sensations that might feel unpleasant. Never hit the neck, head, or kidney area (typically about a hand’s length up from the small of the back on both sides of the body) during play as percussive strikes here may hurt in the non-sexy sort of way.

Aftercare is Important

In BDSM culture, “aftercare” is an important part of BDSM playtime. After the hitting, teasing, blindfolding, cuffing and so on has ended, the Dominant player will often sit with the submissive player and wrap them in a blanket, get them a drink of water and generally make sure they feel okay both physically and mentally. You can easily incorporate this practice into your own bedroom BDSM to form a complete, satisfying experience for both you and your partner, allowing romance and affection to play a very important part of your kinky fun.

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