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The Size of the Boat? Or the Motion of the Ocean?

May 25, 2014 3 min read

Does size matter?
It’s a question that has plagued men for time out of mind. Being insecure about the size of your penis can lead to all sorts of feelings of sexual inadequacy, and it may even make you feel like less of a man. But is that really necessary? Before you break out the measuring tape, let’s explore some of the misconceptions about penis size and how it affects your experience in the bedroom.

Every partner has different needs.
When we wonder about the importance of size during sex, it’s easy to forget that not every one of our partners is going to like the same things. You may think that every woman or man will only be satisfied by a larger than life member, but keep in mind that their needs may not reflect that at all. Just like your penis is a different size than that one guy’s at the gym, your partners’ anatomies will differ greatly.

For example, a woman with a smaller vagina probably won’t be too thrilled by the prospect of a penis that could cause her bodily harm. Maybe she’s not interested in a bruised cervix today. A snake that is too big for its cage is dangerous in just about any situation.

You aren’t a porn star.
Unless you are. In which case, you can skip this bit.

Unfortunately, a lot of what we think we know about sexual norms comes from watching porn. You may find that your perspective on penis size is shaped by comparing yourself to the men you see on the Internet, with their comically large private parts and otherworldly endurance. These men aren’t the standard by which you should measure yourself.

Porn is great, and watching it is completely healthy, but it becomes dangerous when we start expecting reality to match up to what we see on the screen. Porn stars are actors, and just like Hollywood celebrities, they are the exception to just about every rule.

The bottom line is…
Penis size does matter. And penis size doesn’t matter. It all depends on who you ask.

It matters because, sure, in general a larger penis can get to those hard to reach spots, and the sensation of being filled is nice.

But, it doesn’t matter because, for many couples, penetration isn’t the end all, be all form that sex can take. Lesbians don’t even need a penis to have great sex! Hands, tongues, toys, or a combination of all three do just fine. So, if you feel like you’re lacking in the size department, there’s no reason you can’t get inventive. And you should.

Oral sex and mutual masturbation should already be staples in your foreplay repertoire, but adding sex toys makes some men uncomfortable. This is silly. If you’re worried about your ability to please a partner, limiting yourself is the last thing you want to do. It has been reported that 80% of women have trouble reaching orgasm through vaginal sex alone, so why not use everything in your arsenal to help her get there? Whether that be sex toys, your mouth, or your hands, the amount of effort you put forth will make a big impression.

To put it simply: don’t fret. Most partners will care more about how much you’re focused on their pleasure than the size of what you’re packing.


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